Invent your own life, or someone else will do it for you.
This message is inspired by a quote by Ursula le Guin. It’s significant in many wayS for my journey as you’ll discover in Laying Ghosts and the rest of the series. It explains how I ended up with a control-freak like Andrew for a hubby. He invented me before I had time to invent myself.
Here’s a conversation where I explain it to my friend Derek:
“When I first met Andrew, he used to take me on bushwalks that always ended at a secret cave. He called it our special place.”
“That’s what predators always say when they lure girls to secluded places.”
“I wasn’t really a girl. I was sixteen.”
“But naive?” he asks.
I nod. “He wanted me so badly, it terrified me. But I felt powerless to run away.”
“You didn’t want him?”
“His obsession with me … freaked me out. Like he was crazy about some fantasy woman who wasn’t me. He was almost twenty-one, good-looking, going to uni.”
“Yeah. All my girlfriends would have gone with him in a heartbeat, but he wanted me.”
“And you thought there was something wrong with you for not wanting him?”
It seems obvious now. “He said I just needed help with my … inhibitions. Until I gave in.”
Then I married him.
In what ways have you invented/imagined your life, perhaps in opposition to the desires of others?